How strange it would have been if everyone had completely ignored my losses, not recognized them, not validated them, not helped me grieve them. Perhaps that is what we do to our children. Perhaps we should recognize the importance of being in the moment with our kids; allowing them to feel their pain and helping them understand and make sense out of the events of their lives. Perhaps when we examine our own loss, our own grief, we can remember what we needed during those times. We can recall the pain and remember that we got through it. We can remember that what was most important was not what people said to us but the fact that they were there with us. If we do these things, perhaps we can feel more confident about how to help our kids through their pain.
Stephanie Hodge Wolfe shares about the loss of her parents at a young age in The 3-5-7 Model, A Practice Approach to Permanency. This is a brief excerpt.