Autumn, with its vivid changing of the season here in the North East, is often thought of as a time for reflection. The five conceptual questions of the 3-5-7 Model provide a perfect framework to use.  Have you stopped recently to evaluate your own path?  Who are you?  What has happened in your life that has made you who you are today?  Where are you going?  How will you get there?  When will you know you belong?

In my book, the 3-5-7 Model: A Practice Approach to Permanency, my colleague Stephanie Wolfe shared her own story of Clarification, Integration and Actualization.   I have heard her say often that she “3-5-7-ed” herself.  Stephanie wrote, “Perhaps we should recognize the importance of being in the moment with our kids; allowing them to feel their pain and helping them understand and make sense out of the events of their lives. Perhaps when we examine our own loss, our own grief, we can remember what we needed during those times. We can recall the pain and remember that we got through it. We can remember that what was most important was not what people said to us but the fact that they were there with us. If we do these things, perhaps we can feel more confident about how to help our kids through their pain.”

If you are finding yourself in a period of reflection consider “3-5-7-ing” yourself, as Stephanie has done.  Remember that you will be most successful at helping others through loss when you have examined and dealt with your own.  Look at your own life though the 3-5-7 lens and I’d be honored if you share with me what you see.

~ from the October 2013 Newsletter


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