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BLINDSIDE: Creating Connections
Recently I saw the movie, The Blindside, again and then had an opportunity to see the Tuohy’s in a TV interview. They bring a powerful message to older youth adoptions, adopting Michael Oher. As I watched the movie, I saw more clearly the work of integration, as Lee Anne went into Michael’s world to meet his mother and to make that linkage between his previous life and his new life. She was creating the connection for Michael between his attachment to his mother and to his growing attachment to the Tuohy family as they were responding to his needs for comfort, security and someone to believe in him. As Michael attended school on a regular basis, had support for his educational development and “coaching” on one of the skills of relationship building-reciprocity, he began to actualize a future for himself, one being the opportunity to play football. Throughout his living with the Tuohy’s , Michael was able to clarify the events of his past life, grieving for what wasn’t and forming a stronger identity.
While the movie may give the impression that this relationship between Michael and the Tuohy’s developed in a short period of time, their book, In a Heartbeat, provides more of the day to day experiences of a family in actualization. As Lee Anne said,” I told him, ‘I love you,’ every night for a year before he could say the same words back to me”. The message from the Tuohy’s is “just do something?”